How to call a girl a whore..and get away with it.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

How to call a girl a whore..and get away with it.

joshawesome:

ryanpurtill:

Hey guys,

I am sure you guys often find yourselves in situations where you want to call out the promiscuity of a young lady in order to cover up your own securities like when she likes ur roomate..or something… But for those of you that lack the skill to do this without getting cosmos thrown at you or be called an asshole. I am here to help. Lets look at some phrases you should learn:

1. “Oh you jezebel you” This is the classic “you are a whore” phrase but it sounds so cute that girls will usually just smile and you can go on secretly liking them while they dance with your roommate. Thanks to the combination of Disney princesses names: Jasmine and Belle, girls are genetically wired to associate this word with cuteness. and sandwhiching any word betwen “oh you……. you”, can come off complimentary.

2. “You are are a regular Harlot..aren’t you” Again this is actually a really mean thing to say and can be useful when the girl you like is flirting with your roommate (even though he has 2 girlfriends). There is something old Englished and refined about it.

3. “You are a common strumpet” Again this literally means “you are a hooker of the foulest kind” but girls will often say “thank you” after this phrase. And why not? It sounds delicious! Girls heads are filled with the sweet smell of strawberries after this one, and you will be able to relieve the boundless jealousy in ur heart when she sits on ur roommate’s lap at the bar.

4. “My lady courtesan” it is important to make a proper and fancy hand circle with this one when you say it to the girl, this will make it look refined and complimentary. A good time to do it is when she pulls you aside to talk shit on ur roomates girlfriend..

Well thats it for now gang..enjoy!!!

Haha. Oh man. At least I’m at work and they can’t get rid of me. I’m gone in 3 days. I’ll laugh all I want dammit.

“Trollop” is another old-school insult that aurally sounds kind of nice.